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| Following is an audio recording of a radio show called “Effective Parenting” presented by Mickey Michaels. On this show I expand on a chapter from my book, SURVIVAL GUIDE FOR PARENTS. “Surviving the Teenage Years”
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directly if you have the Apple, Real or Windows Media Player: HERE ARE
SOME MORE PARENTING TIPS IN THE “TRIED AND TRUE” OLD
TECHNOLOGY – THE WRITTEN WORD. Life-saving
Tips for Parents No matter their age, your kids will bombard you with a constant stream of requests (or rather, demands) for your time and attention. That’s normal. It’s a kids’ job to ask for everything. It’s a parent’s job to set the limits. The way you respond to their requests will determine whether your own life is manageable or overwhelming. For the sake of your own mental health, teach your kids the following lesson as soon as they are old enough to understand the words: “Certain times are family times, when we do things with you. Other times are grownup times, when we grownups need to be left alone.” You can remind them of this if you have a friend over and you need a pleasant, quiet atmosphere to carry on a conversation. You can use it if you just need to be left alone -- to read, nap, think, or whatever you want to do with a little quiet time by yourself. I can promise that your kids will test you. This is an inconvenience to them. They want you available to them at all times, and they will test you to find out if you’re really serious about this. If you give in to their interruptions, they will learn you don’t mean what you say, and they will never give you any peace. My favorite device for guarding my own space is the following statement: THE BLOOD AND BONES RULE: “I don’t want to be interrupted unless there is blood or broken bones involved.” Kids actually
think this is pretty funny, and they get the point. Whenever they interrupt you,
just ask, ====================== Life-saving
Tips for Parents This is an issue that can drive everyone crazy – parents and kids alike. It becomes a problem because most parents take onto themselves a responsibility that rightfully belongs to the kids. We parents make all kinds of mistakes in the belief that “This is what a good parent is supposed to do.” It’s a major mistake for us to think it’s our job to constantly nag our kids about doing their homework – even worse, to think we should do it with them or for them. Don’t we already have enough on our plate? Why would we knowingly take on another job that isn’t even ours? Let the kids do their own homework and be responsible for getting it done! This might sound like a radical idea, but you actually do them a disservice when you take that responsibility away from them. If you ask them, “Have you done your homework?” believe them if they say Yes. When you insist on checking it over yourself even after they tell you it’s done, you’re saying you don’t think they’re intelligent or competent enough to know if they’ve done it properly. Let their performance be your guide. Go to Parent Teacher Association meetings, go to Back to School nights, have conferences with your child’s teachers. Let your kids know you place great value on their education. But give them a chance to perform well without your intervention. Look at their report card
for the first marking period. If they’re having problems, talk to the teacher,
find out what the problem is, and ask the teacher’s recommendation as to
how you can help. But do yourself and your kids a huge favor. Let their homework
be their responsibility, not yours. ================= Life-saving
Tips for Parents From about 6th grade until
your child is old enough to drive, you will need to handle their Finally, I was struck by what should have been obvious much earlier. I wasn’t the only parent with a car. I was the parent who had created my own reputation as a “soft touch.” Since I always said Yes, it was much easier to ask me than to search for another parent to do it. So I was always the first one asked, and as long as I kept saying Yes, I was the only parent who was ever asked. I had no right to be annoyed
with my daughter for asking. That’s a kid’s job description. You can’t
blame them for starting at the place where they’re most likely to get what
they want. I was the one who had to get a grip. I had to tell myself that being
a good mother did not require me to drive everybody’s kids every place they
want to go. I had to give myself permission to say No. It’s a kid’s
job to ask for everything. It’s a parent’s job to set the limits.
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PARENTING TIPS & SUPPORT | EXCERPTS FROM
"SURVIVAL GUIDE"
C R E A T E D B Y
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parenting_tips.htm